Ask the Expert
Q: I have a 15-year-old son who has anger issues and once punched a hole in a wall due to anger.
A: As children grows their attitude and behaviors changes especially during the teen years. Anger within itself is not bad, but the issue is how to convey the emotion in a constructive manner. Encourage your teen to talk about his feelings to explore the source of his anger. Let him know that he has alternatives in expressing anger such as communicating his feelings to you, a trusted friend, or family member. Some other suggested alternatives are to allow a period to ‘cool down’ then address the issues that is causing anger or to channel anger into a productive activity such as sports or a hobby. Let your teen know that his behavior has consequences and that he will be expected to make or to pay for the repairs to the damaged wall.
Anger management classes are offered at Texas Child and Family Institute, for information call 281-421-1524.
Q: I often suffer from periods of depression, especially during the holidays. Is there anything that I can do to help get through this season without falling apart?
A: What you are describing is not an uncommon occurrence. Many people suffer from episodes of depression during the winter months, and often during the holidays especially. If your depression is mild and last no longer than a few days there are a few things that you can do to help you get out of the rut. The first thing you can do is eat properly. One’s diet greatly affects one’s mood. During this time of year we are tempted to eat and eat without thinking. Try to stick to a balanced diet, eating plenty of lean meats, fruits and vegetables. Something else you can do is to take a walk everyday, as few as ten minutes outside and under the sun can make a huge difference in your mood. Lastly, find someone to talk to. Everyone needs someone to share their worries, troubles, and anxieties with. This may be a close friend or a family member. With the support of others, you will be able to make it through the season much easier.
If your depressive symptoms last more than a few days, and you are unable to work through the symptoms on your own, then it would be a good idea to seek professional help. You can contact us at 281-421-1524 to set up an appointment; we would love to talk with you.
Q: My husband and I have been married for over 10 years now. Overall we have a great marriage, but there are still some areas that continue to cause us problems. We do not need therapy, but could use some extra help. What can we do to help smooth out these rough spots?
A: Let me first say that you are not alone. This is a common issue with many couples. As life begins to move quickly, and children come into the picture, the marriage relationship often takes a back seat. Many couples are in the situation that you are in, where they just need a little help to get over some certain problems, but overall their marriage is very healthy. There are several ways that you can iron out the rough spots of your marriage. One option would be to find a good book on couple communication and get to reading together! You can even share the same book, one can highlight in pink things that they thought were significant and the other can do the same only in blue. What turns purple are things that are important to both of you in some way. Another option would be to take a class. There are many community based organizations that often offer classes on communication or conflict resolution. These classes, if not always focused on couples, can still be very helpful. Another place to go would be to seek out marriage enrichment seminars that might be happening in your area. Most often these are offered by faith-based organizations and churches, but can also be found in many community based organizations as well. Lastly, you can look into joining a couples’ enrichment group. These consist of meeting together once a week with several other couples and exploring issues such as communication and expectations, as well as many other areas.
If you are interested in such a couples’ group, please contact Texas Child and Family Institute at 281-421-1524.